Holding on to you

“If I had my live to live again, I’d find you sooner.”
-Kobi Yamada

I knew from the moment i saw him that he stood out from the crowd. Even if he didn’t mean to.

He tried to shrink away from the crowd, he tried to make himself appear smaller.

she tried to talk less and avoid eye contact. even with those big honey brown eyes of his.

By oliver, I wanted to talk to him.

I wanted to get to know him.

and i didn’t even know why.

I got up the courage to talk to him, I spoke to him for less than a minute.

I couldn’t stop thinking about seeing him today. 

I got up early just to brush my teeth and fix my hair and wear a nice dress.

He probably doesn’t even know my name.

but I don’t care.

Something inside of me is stirring to talk to him, to get to know him, to tear away the walls built around us.

It took days, weeks, maybe months, but I did it.

I could live a lifetime of happiness just to be with him again.

He said my name.

I couldn’t believe that I was hearing it from his lips, but he said it. I so desperately wanted to kiss… 

He said my name aloud so the world could hear.

but he is my world.

and i wish that i could hear him say it alone, for me.

My heart beats and flutters, threatening to tear out of my chest cavity. 

he said my name.

he said my name.

It sounded like an accident, sounded like he didn’t mean to say it. but he did. my name, my very name came from his tongue.

am I dreaming? Is this real life? because I’m walking on clouds right now.

The boy who I can’t get out of my head knows I exist, knows my name.

It’s a dream come true.

I wanted to kiss him today.

I know that sounds incredibly stupid and immature and I don’t even know if he loves me
in return, but I desperately wanted to. It was an urging deep within my soul, telling me that this is right, that he is right and perfect and I love him so much. 

But I can’t. not until he loves me in return.

because one kiss could mean that he never speaks to me again,

or it could mean that he loves me,

and will love me forever.

I can’t take a chance.

so impatiently, I will wait and see.

I walk with you

The sky began to shine with the stars
When you began to glint in me like the moon
I stay close to you like this
That I become your felling
Beloved come I’ll live in every breath of you.
You set like evening Sun
You rise like the morning Sun
In your shadow,
I walk with you.

For you have begun to look good to me

The beautiful beginning of love has started.
My world, my dreams have begun to shape.
For you have begun to look good to me,
The destinations are new as well as the paths.
It seems we are leaving the ground and flying toward the in sky,
For you have begun to look good to me,
What the secrets of life has been revealed.
Oh, what the secrets of life is has been revealed,
Our heart’s mirror has been washed over with happiness.
For you have begun to look good to me,
These meetings are not thought nor planned, never
Yes, this is not something in a anyone’s control, never
God wanted it, so these hearts have met,
For you have begun to look good to me.
The beautiful beginning of love has occurred.
My world, my dreams have begun to shape,
For you have begun to look good to me.
The destinations are new as well as the paths,
It seems we are leaving the ground and flying toward the in sky.
For you have begun to look good to me.
For you have begun to look good to me.



The magic of love

Love magically turns every abuse into glitter..

love turns all the bruises into flowers..

love gives you hope that everything will change..

maybe he’ll be able to see what he has..

maybe after wandering around he’ll come back..

and you’ll accept him just because of the love that never faded..

In fact grew with time.

What is love?

It is not sitting on a bus seat, watching your partner stand sacrificing for you, compromising his comfort for you.

It actually means to stand along him, through the doggy path, the tricky cross roads.

It doesn’t mean to smile as he treks his way up a mountain barefoot because your shoe broke off and you needed something to wear, it is sharing the same pain of the pebbles underneath, having rough scars on your sole.

Love isn’t waves sweeping you off your feet, it is not butterflies, or sunset, neither is it twitching stars or morning coffee, it is actually the crave for the warmth left on the bed sheet that stretched against him as his bare skin collapsed into it.

It is the bitter , burnt cake you eat and compliment just because she stood in the kitchen for a day, smiling as she baked for you.

It is the morning dew cupped by the flower, it is fascinating forest fire and all that it consumes.


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